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I am using this blog as a place for me to share my thoughts. It seems to be working like a diary for me. No one really knows about it, so it's like a secret place where I can confess my hopes and fears. Feel free to take a look around and follow me if you like. Thanks for stopping by!

Sunday, February 24, 2013

Early Ramblings

I’m so fucking tired of my thought processes. I hate myself for them. I’m pathetic. I really thought I was a strong person, and in some ways I am. But in so many ways I’m the biggest loser in the world. It’s been a long time since I cared what people thought of me, so maybe I’ve done too much damage. I don’t like people in general, so when I do, it’s a big deal. And I’m just like fuck it, but that’s not getting me anywhere. I’ve gotten so many things that I wanted. I graduated. I got a job in my chosen career in a shitty economy. I bought a house. There’s a lot of shit that goes along with all that, but I take it in stride. Then I get all bent out of shape over bullshit. It’s disgusting. I feel like I just want to be left alone, but I’m so lonely it hurts. So I just hate people a little bit more. I don’t even know what my problem actually is. Last night was actually fun. More fun than I’ve had in a while. If I could stop expecting too much from people and just leave it at that… A good show & some good grub. That’s the simple life. No analyzing. No over thinking. No blaming myself for something I did/said a year ago. Fuck that shit, man. I wish I could fall back asleep. It’s to early to be up when you waited up for nothing except your damn comforter to dry.

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