Happy

I feel a strong need to make this post because I'm usually ranting or sad on here. That's not the case this time. My job is horrible, but things really started looking up when my coworkers and I took a spring break vacation in Florida. Poolside, Animal Kingdom & Epcot, Clearwater, Club 23, dinner with my Florida family. It was a truly splendid time.

It was hard coming back, but something made it easier. I met a boy through an app called tinder (I know that's terrible) on the way to Florida. We talked I lot, and I couldn't wait to meet him. When I finally did, it was so much more than I expected. He pretty much took my breath away. Since then, I've fallen even more. It's crazy because there are so many things that would have been deal breakers for me. For some reason, I can't even see it that way. He's extraordinary. I suppose everything else makes up for those "deal breakers."

One of my coworkers met someone as well. We danced around the teachers' lounge as I yelled "WERE IN LOVE!" It was a good Monday. Mondays aren't so bad when I have memories of Saturday night and Sunday morning to relive and dwell on.

The next amazing thing that happened was my best friend getting engaged. I was sad that I didn't get to be there but so stoked for the two of them! They are an amazing couple. They will do so well. She and I had talked about wedding stuff before (duh! We're girls). She already had some things picked out, so I knew I was the maid of honor and what dress I'd most likely be wearing. We are now getting deeper into the planning. She has called on me for assistance because I had planned a wedding already that never ended up happening. Which sucked at the time, but now I have the experience! It's so much fun planning a real wedding for two people that I love so much and that love each other so much.

Finally, my other best friend is coming home to visit next week. She's in the Air Force and based in North Dakota... Which sucks balls. BUT she will be back in jersey for a week, so I'm thrilled. I miss her terribly. I also haven't met her boyfriend yet, so that is exciting as well. I can't wait to hug her and spend a weekend with her just doing whatever we want.

In conclusion, life is good right now. I don't know how long this ridiculous happiness will last, but I am milking it for all that its worth. This doesn't happens to me often, but it feels like everything is coming together.

The End.

Early Ramblings

I’m so fucking tired of my thought processes. I hate myself for them. I’m pathetic. I really thought I was a strong person, and in some ways I am. But in so many ways I’m the biggest loser in the world. It’s been a long time since I cared what people thought of me, so maybe I’ve done too much damage. I don’t like people in general, so when I do, it’s a big deal. And I’m just like fuck it, but that’s not getting me anywhere. I’ve gotten so many things that I wanted. I graduated. I got a job in my chosen career in a shitty economy. I bought a house. There’s a lot of shit that goes along with all that, but I take it in stride. Then I get all bent out of shape over bullshit. It’s disgusting. I feel like I just want to be left alone, but I’m so lonely it hurts. So I just hate people a little bit more. I don’t even know what my problem actually is. Last night was actually fun. More fun than I’ve had in a while. If I could stop expecting too much from people and just leave it at that… A good show & some good grub. That’s the simple life. No analyzing. No over thinking. No blaming myself for something I did/said a year ago. Fuck that shit, man. I wish I could fall back asleep. It’s to early to be up when you waited up for nothing except your damn comforter to dry.