Lost

I'm afraid that I'm not going to find another place where I can fit so comfortably.

I spent most of my life being unsure of myself and where I belonged. There has only ever been one place where I was able to see myself forever. The interesting thing about it is that it never mattered where I physically was. I didn't care at all. That was the variable of my future that I never bothered to fill in.

I only needed to know with whom.

And now I know nothing.

I'm feeling better about things.

It's painfully obvious to me now that I can never go back to the way things were. I wouldn't want to if I could. The thought alone exhausts me. My therapist has helped me look at the situation from a distance and realize what it was: a manipulation.

She thinks I should get back into the things I used to enjoy, like going to shows, which I pretty much gave up entirely. I'm going to work on that kind of stuff. I'm going to work on myself by paying attention to my interactions with people.

I'm having a hard time defining myself without someone else right now. I'll be working on that too. I'm kind of seeing someone, but I'm not going to throw myself into anything. I'm not making plans. I'm going with the flow and taking things one step at a time.

Undecided

I wanted to grow my hair out so it would be long when I got married. Pshh...

Now that that's out of the picture, I can't decide what to do with it. I really missed it being long, but I hate the way it is right now. I thought I wanted it all one length, but I'm really hating it without short layers. It has no shape. It's blah. And I look like a "regular girl." And that's not cool. I always go for funky, rocker chick hair. I don't like having normal, plain, blah, boring hair. It's just not me. I came across some older pictures of myself and they got me thinking...

I got this haircut last November, and I really loved it. I had it for about a year and a half before I started growing it out. I'm starting to miss it a lot. It was much easier/quicker to wash and style. Plus, I'm DYING for my short layers. I just love them.



I had this blond in my hair a summer or two before I started cutting it short. I really miss this too. If I did get this look back, I would keep the length I have now, and just get some layers and bangs put in. I'm really torn, and I'm looking for opinions.

So... what do you think??